What a year... 2005. It will go down in my books as one the best ones yet. For myself, it was filled with spiritual growth( as well as a bit of physical growth around the waist I was not looking for-LOL) and many new adventures. I have come a long way. Worked through some things that I needed to let go of, and faced things I did not even know I would have to. Things that no one should ever have to face. But through these we grow!
Holidays were exciting for me this year. I've always loved Christmas, but this one was special. Sharing with friends and loved ones was different. My partner did such a great job of including me in the family events. They have for years, practiced "Advent" on the four Sundays leading up to Christmas. A time to hear parts of the Christmas story, share Christmas memories, sing carols and enjoy great food together. It was so special. Each time I felt overwhelmed with emotion, sometimes tears, sometimes laughter. I realized through this occasion how much I missed at Christmas grown up. We were never allowed to have a tree, and only allowed to follow traditions that were approved by the church. Even then, there was no time for it. Our lives absorbed in farm work.
Also this year I drew names with my partner's family for the "12 Days of Christmas". Oddly enough I got his wife's name. At first I was not sure that would be the best scenario, but it turned out to be wonderful. It gave me a better opportunity to get to know more about her. So we each gave a wish list and then for the days leading up to Christmas, we got a gift each day. It was so much fun. And I got great gifts... Even my favorite Coconut cream pie! It was like having 12 Christmas!
Also my partner bought us advent calendars to share. Tiny wooden boxes with 25 doors to hide little treasures in. So each day there was a surprise waiting with a message that warmed my heart. Each morning, I'd go open the little door for that day, and smile... Or cry tears of joy at what was waiting inside. Each day making me realize what a beautiful man I have come to love. This Christmas was truly blessed!
Some emotion came in dealing with my kids schedules. They are teens now and very involved in their church and school activities. I was disappointed to not have them for several days over the Christmas break, but nevertheless we made my family holiday time for new years. Of course I always had nice gifts at Christmas, so I always work hard at making my kids holiday feel special. I tend to go overboard with my kids, but they are very grateful and appreciate what I do. We Gathered on New Years Eve, and exchanged gifts. The kids faces were glowing as they unwrapped each package. I loved seeing the excitement on their faces.
Oddly enough the prize gift for my son was the multi-colored stockin hat that I almost decided to not give him, thinking he'd not care for it. This after getting Electronic Drums. And my daughter, went wild over the new purse from my partner and his family. Her's after a digital camera... So you just never know. The simplest things can mean the most. I got a photo scrapbook of childhood events, filled with pictures of me at varying ages of childhood. It is very awesome. Even a photo of myself in the tiny rocking chair that I still have to this day.
Something in these photos brought back memories of things that were not pleasant. More of the stages I have been progressing through over this year. But as I saw the pictures flash through my mind, felt the feelings attached to them, it was relieving. Painful, yet as if weights were being lifted from me. Or as if missing pieces of myself, my own puzzle were now in place. So as I think through them these bring a sense of wholeness. A being more complete. Not without emotion, but cleansing in its movement, as water washes dirt from the rocks.
My work has been exciting this year. Building my business. I have learned a lot. And I trust those lessons will thrust me forward in the progression of new business. It is sometimes a struggle to be self-employed. Seems you are rowing upstream all alone at times. But I know that I have great support. And I am so grateful for all that has been done to help me along the way. My partner is a rock for me! He makes me stop and look at things from and outside angle when I am overwhelmed from the inner perspective of carrying the load.
I am so excited about a new adventure that has begun. I have always wanted to do Artwork. Have had many ideas in my head for years. With my partners encouragement, I did my first piece for a fundraiser this year. It sold, and I was very proud. We had so much fun creating the pieces we did for the fundraiser. It has fueled emotions, dreams and discussions. From my partner for Christmas, I received the most amazing Art set you can imagine. A roll-around caddy for carrying all the supplies, with every thing from paints and charcoal, to brushes and watercolors. A dream of mine... Realized! My imagination runs wild!
We had a "White Trash" Christmas gathering at my place. Just a few friends for silly snack foods and a funny gift exchange. I got the "fiber optic Bonzai tree", its a real showpiece for your home! HEEHEE! Great fun was had.. And many great drinks were shared! Along with good-hearted fun poked at my "pink" Christmas tree. This party was where I received worlds greatest house pet. ROBO Rover, the mechanical dog. It's what all apartment dwellers should have... You can turn it off!!!
I am grateful this year more than ever before. I have so much to be thankful for. My beautiful children, my soulmate, friends who are wonderful and so many more things...
I trust that each of us take something away from 2005 with us that will make us a better person as we travel through this journey called life!
Much love! AL
