So was a windy, sunny day in Texas like so many others. I went through my routine like that I have developed since having surgery. Moving slow... dressing myself... feeling a bit of pain, taking my meds, using my walker to pass through the house. Lamenting not getting our living room painted before my surgery, people are coming over for Robb's birthday party. Would have loved to get the bathroom painted in the hall... oh well. Having my lunch that my soulmate made me before he left for work. Watching TV, talked to some people from work who checked on me to see how I am doing. Was nice to be missed! I called my Dr to ask about my sore ribs. apparently it's quite normal after a surgery like mine to have symptoms like bruised ribs. Write my journal... talk to my mom. Text from a friend to see how I am improving post-surgery.
There is so much that runs through my mind. I know Robb is going through emotions dealing with his divorce. Even though it's been a long time comin, things have changed, and the way he had planned for the divorce to be executed got nixed by others being vendictive. My daughter has gone through things this year becoming a young woman that I guess I had hoped she would not have to go through. I have struggled to communicate with her as openly as possible. She is too much like me I fear...
I think through the process of my upcoming therapy and Rehab. And I go through the whole thing in my mind... will power.. will power.. will power...
Then...
a friend messaged me... to tell me that a friend of ours had passed away. That he'd found it too difficult to be here and deal anymore... I was so stunned... When chills run down my spine it is different. I have metal back there now. My heart ached... I thought, what could I have done? called more often? emailed? said something more? Such a good guy.. a good looking man! I had to stop and reflect... to be grateful for getting to know him while he was here.
and to know that now there is yet another "Big Boy Angel" on the other side lookin out for me!
We will miss ya B!!
PEACE
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