New Life

Just as a flower springs forth, new growth.

We make decisions in our lives...

These decisions will forever be a part of the history

map known as our past. The fabric of our story... And help

to mold our future path and the directions we take.

I believe it is all part of a painting called Life!

Some may view their painting to be dark with tattered

edges, and even worn thin where it can be seen through.

Others may consider theirs a masterpiece....

Today the documents arrived that state that my partner is legally divorced. Some would congratulate me on the time of waiting for that day to come now being over. Others would ask if I thought it would ever arrive...

In my own mind and life... I have evolved. There was a time when I made a choice to be with the man I had fallen in love with. I knew when I made that decision that some would question my intentions. Some asked me "what the hell are you doing with a married man? You will only get hurt!" Others looked at me as a home wrecker, only here to divide up a family. What was actual truth was that those people really did not know the real truth about myself or my partner. Nor in most cases, was it any of their business! But as so-called friends quite often do, they stick their noses in other people's affairs, wag their tongues regarding things they know little about, and pass judgments making sure the world sees what small minded idiots they are!

So... While the situation may not have been conventional, it was very fitting. For those who really know my partner and I know we are neither of the conventional persuasion. In the early stages, I had fears that one day I might get hurt. That on the day that the divorce came through, there might be something more attractive about being single , footloose and fancy-free, than being with me. But let's be real... when we open our hearts to loving someone. we take a chance. So no matter who you are with, Loving means taking a risk. And might I add, a very Worthy Risk! For in taking that leap of faith, I have grown as a person more than I ever could have imagined. Am loved more than I could ever imagined!

There was a time in my life when I was afraid to be alone. I had been through things in my life that made me have fear living in the dark corners of my soul, my mind. Haunted by the past, I was a fearful person, sometimes like he child who was abused, neglected in some ways, heart-broken, and scared. As I became aware of myself in the past few years and my spiritual dimensions, I came to understand, that those things only have as much effect on me as I give them power to have. As I have shared my fears openly with my soulmate, it has become easier to swing open the closet doors, sweep out the skeletons lying there and move on!

So as we lay in bed talking of the fact I had one feared this day. I think my partner was actually surprised. Somehow maybe I managed to not display those fears. Or maybe he was giving me grace.. LOL. But it was so exciting.. so Amazing to think... Now is yet again New Life!

The Adventure truly begins now! It's like doing due diligence or proving one's self... that you are worthy to go on this trip... No that we needed to prove it to each other. We love and accept each other just as we are!! But like we needed to prove it to The Gods... Like being interviewed to be on "the amazing race" . Like you have overcome society's expected outcome! I detest that! So today I am yet again making myself a promise to live for today! to live for the adventure at hand! To look adversity in the eye and say "kiss my entire ass"!! Because I am happy, I am at peace. And for all you nay-sayers out there... well I am sad for you! Because until you believe in yourself, until you take a chance on love. Until you are ready to live an adventure and not just be stagnant... I can assure you that you will feel unfulfilled!

Do I think I am on top of it all? God no... there is always something to work on! Do I think I know all the answers.. no way! Still learning right this moment! Will continue to do so till I die... But the difference is I am willing...

And congratulations to my soulmate who is moving onward and upward! He is the love of my life! Congratulations to the others out there who are in a new place... new name, new life... Not sure they have a positive outlook on it. But I wish for us all the very best!!

Peace~ AL