New Life

Just as a flower springs forth, new growth.

We make decisions in our lives...

These decisions will forever be a part of the history

map known as our past. The fabric of our story... And help

to mold our future path and the directions we take.

I believe it is all part of a painting called Life!

Some may view their painting to be dark with tattered

edges, and even worn thin where it can be seen through.

Others may consider theirs a masterpiece....

Today the documents arrived that state that my partner is legally divorced. Some would congratulate me on the time of waiting for that day to come now being over. Others would ask if I thought it would ever arrive...

In my own mind and life... I have evolved. There was a time when I made a choice to be with the man I had fallen in love with. I knew when I made that decision that some would question my intentions. Some asked me "what the hell are you doing with a married man? You will only get hurt!" Others looked at me as a home wrecker, only here to divide up a family. What was actual truth was that those people really did not know the real truth about myself or my partner. Nor in most cases, was it any of their business! But as so-called friends quite often do, they stick their noses in other people's affairs, wag their tongues regarding things they know little about, and pass judgments making sure the world sees what small minded idiots they are!

So... While the situation may not have been conventional, it was very fitting. For those who really know my partner and I know we are neither of the conventional persuasion. In the early stages, I had fears that one day I might get hurt. That on the day that the divorce came through, there might be something more attractive about being single , footloose and fancy-free, than being with me. But let's be real... when we open our hearts to loving someone. we take a chance. So no matter who you are with, Loving means taking a risk. And might I add, a very Worthy Risk! For in taking that leap of faith, I have grown as a person more than I ever could have imagined. Am loved more than I could ever imagined!

There was a time in my life when I was afraid to be alone. I had been through things in my life that made me have fear living in the dark corners of my soul, my mind. Haunted by the past, I was a fearful person, sometimes like he child who was abused, neglected in some ways, heart-broken, and scared. As I became aware of myself in the past few years and my spiritual dimensions, I came to understand, that those things only have as much effect on me as I give them power to have. As I have shared my fears openly with my soulmate, it has become easier to swing open the closet doors, sweep out the skeletons lying there and move on!

So as we lay in bed talking of the fact I had one feared this day. I think my partner was actually surprised. Somehow maybe I managed to not display those fears. Or maybe he was giving me grace.. LOL. But it was so exciting.. so Amazing to think... Now is yet again New Life!

The Adventure truly begins now! It's like doing due diligence or proving one's self... that you are worthy to go on this trip... No that we needed to prove it to each other. We love and accept each other just as we are!! But like we needed to prove it to The Gods... Like being interviewed to be on "the amazing race" . Like you have overcome society's expected outcome! I detest that! So today I am yet again making myself a promise to live for today! to live for the adventure at hand! To look adversity in the eye and say "kiss my entire ass"!! Because I am happy, I am at peace. And for all you nay-sayers out there... well I am sad for you! Because until you believe in yourself, until you take a chance on love. Until you are ready to live an adventure and not just be stagnant... I can assure you that you will feel unfulfilled!

Do I think I am on top of it all? God no... there is always something to work on! Do I think I know all the answers.. no way! Still learning right this moment! Will continue to do so till I die... But the difference is I am willing...

And congratulations to my soulmate who is moving onward and upward! He is the love of my life! Congratulations to the others out there who are in a new place... new name, new life... Not sure they have a positive outlook on it. But I wish for us all the very best!!

Peace~ AL

Four Boyfriends

When this was passed to me today I was amazed... as we'd just had a simular conversation about this with a friend of ours last night. I have been frustrated with my recovery time post-surgery being so long and the fact that I will never lift as much as I once did. Concerned with the everyday responsibilities of life. This helped me regain some perspective. I hope it is as helpful to you!
Peace~ AL

Four Boyfriends
Once upon a time there was a girl who had four boyfriends. She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.
She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.
She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.
The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!
One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, will I be a alone.'
Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'No way!', replied the fourth boyfriend, and he walked away without another word. His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.
The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, w ill you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold
She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'
In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives:
Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.
Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth.When you die, it will all go to others.
Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.
And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you throughout Eternity.
Author unknown