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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Love: Kills Slowly

LOVE:
•a strong positive emotion of regard and affection


•any object of warm affection or devotion

•have a great affection or liking for

•beloved: a beloved person

•get pleasure from

•a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction

•be enamored or in love with

•sleep together: have sexual intercourse with
 
It is an amazing thing, this thing we call Love... It can bring joy, pain, happiness, and sadness. It sadly becomes an addiction to many. A mask for hiding the pain many live with. A way to never face fear, and a way to build a facade that others see, a way to look strong, instead of showing their humanity.
This is why the sad reality is that...
LOVE KILLS SLOWLY...
While it may feed hope, it may bring new life in one area or to one person. It may very well be taking from another. What is seen on the surface is not always what is going on behind closed doors. When people are trying to put their best foot forward, they don't show the truth of the pain they live with every day. Just because we see a display of what is perceived perfection, it most likely has it's own set of issues and the most perfect things on the surface are quite often the most hollow on the interior.
So often people who have never been loved properly especially as a child, tend to become manipulators. Rather than getting the help that can truly change their lives, they create the most elaborate fantasyland to live in.. most do it without meaning to or without intent of hurting anyone, but they do. And they do it repeatedly, and even when they learn about themselves, they are not able to stop. Much like the addiction of the alchoholic. Even when they have a  person in their life to be with them, to share and be a support to them to help them past this abusive and destructive behavior, they are often not able to break away. And instead turn the enviroment into a toxic place that sucks the life from the relationship. Where they will tell the person that is there loving them, accepting them, offering to go to therapy with them, that they want to change, the will falsify things in their life to make it look they are acting on it. They will beg, cry, plead on bended knee, make promises of change and improvement, yet take out their wrath on the person there living with them and who is in love them.
LOVE KILLS SLOWLY...
No one knows the pain involved in the giving of one's self to a relationship where the love is given without judgement and then manipulated to be something bad. Where lies are created, and information of one's personal life is manipulated and used as a way to belittle and demean. Things that are actually shared in common between two people who are in love, yet then become the tools to slice and dice the feelings and emotions of the person who has been closest. For when  the person is closest then it is easiest to cut the deepest and seemingly have no emotion about it. To move through life making decisions that if it were made public, people would turn away in horror if they knew the words and actions of the person who portrays to them being their upstanding friend. Yet behind closed doors treats their "soulmate and Love of their life" as a psychological science project to see how much they can manipulate them,use them and get by with. And while they do it, try to convience that person that they are the one with issues and causing their unsettling life.
 
Some operate from an unsettled place where they shift from day to day or in a single moment as if on a bipolar rollercoaster. Expressing great passion, love and writing eloquent words then when something causes insecurity turning on their loved one, verbally and mentally abusing them. Threats and taking advantage of their life situations add to the tearing down and the use of controling behavior to manipulate the interior of the relationship to be what they want from it. All of these things add to the sabotage of a loving supportive relationship where communication could be or had been growing, where therapy could be helpful, but where all is lost in a cloud of delusion and denial. Where they blame all the disfunction on the other person, and take no responsibility for their actions.
Even when they cause, emotional, psychological and eventually physical  damage. The lack of ability to grasp any concept of the depth of their own pain and disfunction only causes them to maginfy their continued actions against those they love.
Causing them to kill the love being given to them...
Sadly...
 
LOVE KILLS SLOWLY...

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